Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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