it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Someone signed my nipple.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
