hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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