we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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