Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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