I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
