Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
