Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think a kid would responsible me up
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
