Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do vagina's smell?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize