apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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