this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
