I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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