i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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