go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
