She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
