oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize