He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
