yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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