its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
