No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
nutella sex= disaster
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm always down for nudity.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
