Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
