This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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