come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
