Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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