turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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