then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
