hotel room ftw
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
