Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize