Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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