I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
