How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
