you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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