oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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