watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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