i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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