you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
