We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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