My pussy is not your playground.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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