Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
