Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
