Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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