Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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