nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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