all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We need to get me chipped asap
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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