We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
