i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
