Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
