So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
