I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize