I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
