I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
