alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
