So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
