I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
