I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
