I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
