The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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