white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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