it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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