Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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