literally had 100 drinks last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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