You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
